i’m cryING


"whats your sexuality?" "money"


on my grave i want VIP not RIP

I am excited to see a generation of women who will raise their boys to be good rather than their girls to be scared.


teacher: are you okay do you need any help?

me: yes, financially


unsalted fries



you come into my home. you tell me that my puns are “bad”

Yes, poor little old you. There we were, discussing rape, violence against women, systemic oppression and other manifestations of sexism, and you had to jump in to remind us that “not all men” do these things. Why don’t you really say what you want to say? “I HAVE NEVER RAPED/HIT/ASSAULTED A WOMAN!” Right? Isn’t this what you really want to say? Yes, make a discussion that is about the plight of MILLIONS of women about poor little old you. I mean, millions of women are being assaulted and oppressed, but you’ve never done it, so why are we making you uncomfortable with these discussions?
Brenda Wambui breaking down the ridiculous “Not all men!” phrase over at Medium (via tiredestprincess)
Interesting Conversation I Just Had With My Father
father: what are you doing, son?
me: listening to music on youtubes
daddo: cool. i like music. what does this thumb down icon mean?
my: it means you have a very small peanis and enjoy Justin Beiber. Like or die.
dadder: I have failed you as a respectable member of society and must kill you to prevent this generation from being fucked up. Goodbye son.


BDSM: Bondage, Discipline………………..slime man


Christians call The Bible “the greatest story ever told” almost as if they’ve never heard John Mulaney’s Salt and Pepper Diner